I know I've been a bit silent (online) lately, but the show has still been going on, even in the midst of my online hiatus. Before I give any insight as to where I've been and what's going on I want to express infinite gratitude to everyone who's made an effort to e-mail me, make posts to support my business & definitely for the continual purchase of my handmade products. The love I've received in my "absence" has been immense and deeply appreciated. I wish the tone of text was audible lol but please know I am very VERY appreciative and thankful.
So, where have I been? Nowhere really lol I've been reveling in the feminine energy of receptivity. For most of my life I've been a doer, a goer, a shaker, a mover. Even after opening several businesses, becoming a wife and having 3 babies. My masculine energy dominated my life since FOREVER (probably because my birth chart is so Mars driven...) I never found time to just be still, be present, and show gratitude; to the abundance of great energy, people or things I've been blissed with, or even to myself. I ALWAYS wanted to DO greater things, DO something new, DO anything but be still. Because to me being still felt like I was being stagnant....or like I had gotten too comfortable. I started a new business at the HEIGHT of a pandemic and was all gas, no brakes, the entire time for divine's sake!! While the world was begging everyone to be still, I chose to keep DOING. It finally caught up to me around my earth day/personal new year/birthday, back in March.
With my solar return, which occurred in Pisces season (March 8th OOO OOOOOOO) I really had to ask myself why I'm so opposed to just being still...What's wrong with just BEING? What is my end goal? What am I chasing? Do I even realize what all I've been through and/or accomplished in my 30+ years this lifetime? I had some soul searching to do, ASAP. So I entered a bit of a hermit phase. Where I almost felt like I had isolated myself from anyone who didn't live in my household (scary, right?!) I started to be hard on myself about my lack of socializing, and the relaxed approach I was taking with my business...
But then Pluto went retrograde, and a whirlwind of things, both bitter and sweet, began to manifest. Not even 24 hours after the beginning of this chaotic transit my aunt, my father's last living sister, the final matriarchal figure ahead of my generation, made her transition unexpectedly. Crazy enough, I have prophetic dreams (I've been blissed/cursed with this "gift" since childhood) and I dreamt of this event exactly 30 days before it took place. Even with that I wasn't emotionally prepared to grasp or digest the magnitude of grief I would experience. While we all experience grief differently, there are still the stages...I felt like I reached the acceptance phase fairly quickly because I know enough to know NO ONE EVER REALLY DIES, but it's the finality of never seeing the avatar of a loved one in real life again that began to sink in and take a toll on me emotionally. Her energy is larger than life itself, so her voice is still heard, her laughter is still present, her truth is still felt, but that doesn't erase the shock or blow to the heart chakra, ya know?
Usually when a loved one transitions family comes together to be each other's light during a dark time. I personally had my own issues with family that prompted me to remove myself yearrrsssss ago. However, I had my birth chart read in December, and the astrologist said a lot of great things that I wanted to hear about how my year might go, but she also mentioned me coming closer to family and most likely abandoning others (non-family) this year as I healed broken bonds. At first I wasn't interested in this because the stubborn energy within said "I highly doubt it"...BUT, that's exactly what happened. While as a family we experienced a tremendous loss, we also gained something special: momentum. Probably not what you expected me to say lol but hear me out; my family, like most, have a history of coming together around major events like births and deaths, but then we fall apart soon after. I definitely feel that this loss was made to shake and wake up the next generation; which I'm proudly a part of. We've had babies that haven't even met because we were all fine with just being in our own little corners. But this loss has prompted play dates with cousins (Old and young), family zooms, talks and action of planning a family reunion, something we've NEVER done, and so much more. That's not to say that my aunt had to transition for this to happen, but she definitely was a strong thread in our family's fabric, and even as she left us physically, her spirit tied us back together.
This time with my family has revitalized me. I'm constantly being reminded how valuable our time is with each other. We're all blissed in abundance with love, life, joy and best of all TIME. I honestly believe everything happens for a reason, and there's a domino effect that takes place with each thing that does happen. For me, this pluto transit brought THE TOWER: a crumble and rebuild. And prior to Pluto playing out her plan (which is still happening, by the way) my own inner G guided me to go within, create space to be still and to be ok with that. I'm a better mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend and ALCHEMIST because of this time away and these bittersweet months.
With that being said, I intend to roll out fresh energy week after week, and I hope you all enjoy everything that's been in my slow cooker these last few months: Products, Blog posts, and some unexpected things as well ;)